‘One day I’ll fly away’



Having Blogged every day last week, written a report for Uni as well as an essay, totalling well over 10,000 words, I seem to have ran out of words this week.

All week I have felt like I have something to say but I just couldn’t work out what that was.

Having had a really great weekend, this week seems to be one of those weeks where everything becomes overwhelming. I am feeling the arthritis effects of having been on holiday, my asthma that hasn’t settle since my hospital stay is flaring up again and Elijah has had a really tough aspie week.

Its so easy to just get pulled down by the frustration of every day struggles, I know that our life isn’t anything compared to others but having been on such a high after our holiday I guess this was just coming back with a bump.

I had to have a bit of a chat with myself, you see I love to have holidays to look forward to and I love going away. I am however really content with my every day life. Ten years ago I couldn’t have dreamt of being where I am today or where we are as a family. I have had so many answered prayers and so many dreams come true. I love my life, I love everything thing I do and everything I get to be. I am truly blessed.

My heart totally breaks when Eli has a hard week, I want to protect him from the world and stop him from ever being upset or hurt. In reality though we all have  hard weeks. This week for example started with Megan in tears because she had to do exams and she was very worked up and worried about them. I am very quick to feel pain for Eli for a struggle that he shouldn’t have to face and I forget that he’s a 6 year old boy and these are just normal life lessons that everyone has to go through and these feelings a regular protective mummy bear feelings that all my other mummy friends go through too.

I also treated myself to a morning at Antrim Forum Spa with my friend, This was so relaxing and made a massive difference to my joint pain. While there I was able to get an Activity card which costs £10 for the year (£2 if you have a disability or are on certain benefits) and this reduces the cost of entry to the spa. I have decided to make sure I go at least once a week until the kids break up from school in order to keep on top of the pain and take time to relax and reflect. Its easy to feel guilty for making time for ourselves but its so needed to be able to focus on the bigger stuff.

This week has been a bit of a cocoon week where iv just wanted to hide away, everything felt like it was closing in but then there where the butterfly moments that always come. The people who choose to invest time in my kids something that just blew me away, another wonderful friend who made Eli the most beautiful cushion with his name and the autism puzzle pieces on I. They showed me how in a world where Eli struggles to fit, all he really needs are a few people who get him and his life will always be filled with love and laughter.




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