Battle scars and butterfly wings

Arthritis / General

swordI only have two scars both from caesarean sections when I had my kids. My husband Ben, has loads, yea a couple where self inflicted but most are from being accident prone (also related to his adhd). Most of Bens injuries we look back and have a giggle at but each scar carries a story, something which the kids love to hear about.

Needless to say I am insanely proud of my scars, they show what I achieved, they are my miracle markers, and they remind me daily how amazing childbirth , in all its forms is.

When I first got those scars they restricted me. I couldn’t drive for 8 weeks, I had to be very gentle for the first two , when I didn’t pay attention to that fact with my first child I ended up with an infected scar which needed further recovery time and treatment. Those scars where so painful I needed painkillers, I couldn’t bare to look at them and with those scars, especially the first one, for a few months they made me feel like a failure.

Some scars in life aren’t physicial, we all carry our own in variying degrees, physical, emotional, psychological. They are sometimes self inflicted, accidental, result of abuse,bullying, trauma etc. They all hurt, they are all important and they all need time to heal. They often wont heal on their own and need help in many forms, medical treatment, friendship, a listening ear or prayer. No two scars are the same and each carries a story. Some stories cry out to be shared with the world and some are personal and will only be shared with a few and yet each is powerful in its own right.

The thing with Scars is, they can be reopened. With mine, my second scar went right through the first, it was a bit more painful, took a little longer to heal but because I had the first scar it wasn’t as traumatic, I knew what was coming and being prepared made the pain and recovery much more bearable. If that scar was opened unexpectedly however, even though the pain would be familiar the recovery wouldn’t because shock carries trauma of its own.

Sometimes old scars open unexpectedly sometimes, we’ve not delt with the original wound and therefore it wasn’t closed over properly and needs looking after properly. Sometimes we get a knock from another person or event and that opens up old wound, dealing with the anger or hurt from this can be as painful as the wound itself.

What I am certain of is that our scars make us who we are, without those battles we don’t find our inner strength. If I knew before hand some of the stuff id have had to face over my life I would have run a mile, yet in the middle of a battle you don’t doubt you can do it, you fight to survive and battle on!

Just like the caterpillar, when life in one season is about to end, there must be a brokenness before the beauty. That cocoon MUST be split before the butterfly is revealed and yet even when the butterfly leaves, if it simply sat and looked at where is came from and pondered too long on that difficult journey, the mess left from the past, it would miss its opportunity to spread its beautiful, intricate, wonderfully made wings and soar into the sky. If it however uses that past, that cocoon as a springboard, taps into that strength stored, the lessons learned, it is able to spread those wings and sore into its true purpose, giving hope to all those caterpillars watching as it goes.

Be proud of your battle scars, don’t hide them away, but don’t be defined by them, its not the scars that define you its how you soar.




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