All I want for Christmas.

Is My Family:

I want to celebrate the end of  a year with the people I love. I want to gather round and eat too much food, I want to have too much sugar and I want to spend two days feeling far too full up. I want to watch my kids pull the paper off their presnts and I want to watch Ben gather it all up.

I want our version of a normal Christmas and I want to remember just how precious that normal is. I am so thankful to just have this Christmas together (don’t get me wrong I love gifts, this isn’t a don’t do gifts type post). But what I know so much this year is that there have been moments, days and weeks where I have doubted that we would make it here as a four.

I have watched Ben battle depression and when I say battle I mean that in the truest sense of the word. He has quite literally fought to still be here, daily making a decision not to give into the condition that often consumes him, sometimes consumes us all. So where people might understand an all out Christmas for a family who has battled a physical illness. I know that many wont understand our little victory celebration. We have a very long road ahead but the new year shows signs of finally getting some support in this battle and as always we are stronger for fighting it together. So for these two days we will hope that the darkness stays away and that we can celebrate just being us. Being together, loving one another and winding each other up!!


Is My Friend:

This same battle was one that was too much for some this year. Far too often this year I’ve read local headlines of people who have lost their fight. Where the pain and the darkness was just too much, they where and are loved and precious and people so wanted to help, but in the midst of the fog these people couldn’t see that. These headlines came close to my own door when I lost my friend this year and I will miss that friend for the rest of my life because as it is so often the case, those who are hurting the most share the most love with others and that was very true in this case. What I would give to discuss Elves and Christmas cups with you this year.

Is Health:

This year has not gone to plan I have battled my lungs and chest infections for the whole year and I am still battling now. I hope and pray that 2017 will get me back on my infusions and out of pain. I know that surgery for my shoulder is in front of me and hopefully that will also be in 2017. I am however grateful that I am not in hospital that I am still managing and that I still have a good frame of mind to refuse to give into it.



Is Disney:

I have always been a Disnerd and I have always been proud of this fact. This year I had three Disney trips and they where the most magical trips ever. Disney this year became more than a film or a theme park, it was about the people, my ‘Tribe’ if you will.

I finally found the place where I just fit, where I’m not judged or weird or random or rather I am but all those things are seen as good things. Never have I met people who more suit the phrase ‘have courage and be kind’ and lets face it how many people have friends who become fairies, or princesses or fish etc on a regular basis? This bunch of crazy, wonderful inspiring people have carried me though this year, they have given me a sense of belonging that I have never known before and when times got tough they where right there keeping the magic alive. I can not wait to spend lots of time next year with these wonderful people.



Is presents:

Look, I never said I was an all round good person, I’ve already got my Cath Kidston bag but id love some chocolate and perfume too, please and thank you (Ben you would need to have already done your shopping).


Is to say Thank You:

Thank you for following my journey this year, thanks for listening to my rambling and helping me through the tough times and celebrating the good. You have all helped make this caterpillar not so lonely xx



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  • Laura Wood

    ❤ your a amazing person hope we gwt to meet in sep ❤ hope you all have a wonderful christmas ?

    12/23/16 – 19:11

  • Joy robb

    Were disney friends for life..xx

    12/23/16 – 22:31